Fate-Mobile 3: Team-Fate Poem

I also took the liberty to transcribe a poem written by a certain Mrs. Fate (Mrs. Frank; Dr. Frank’s wife). It may not seem like much, but when you get to know Team-Fate, or even become apart of it, it’s quite amazing to see how accurate this poem really is. What’s even more awesome is that this poem was written back in the Wisconsin-Madison days (read: the 70’s).

Over 40
Mean and dirty,
Lives with a gal
Who still ain’t thirty!

There goes Fate
Down the pike,
Doin’ wheelies
On his flywheel bike!

His press releases
Give him away
A hundred miles
Per what, you say?

Miles per gallon,
He says with pride
Miles per hour!
He’s screaming inside!

Hybrid cars
And Batmobiles
This kid’s freaked out
On things with wheels!

Bugs on his teeth
Grease ‘neath his nails,
The day of the big race
Old Fate’s clutch fails!

But his smile doesn’t fade
For the plans are all made!
While the winter wind blows,
Taking shape ‘neath the snows
The Infernal Machine,
Next year’s winner grows!

Coat hangers, cardboard
And chicken fat
Race cars are made
Of stuff like that.

Engineered with torch
And string and thumb,
Stuck back together
Where they’ve come undone,
Swore at when they don’t,
But fun when they run,
Of all the beasts in Madison,
The Fatemobiles were the ones that won

What was the secret
Of this shrewd dude, Fate?
Was it the missing seats,
Doors, Lids, and other weights?
Was it superchargers, fat,
Gear ratios, stiff springs,
Funny steering wheels, hot
Spark or just the hypnotic
Charisma of Professor Fate?

They fed it all into the 1108,
But somehow it wouldn’t calculate
The computer looped and ground for years
While the boys lost trophies and
cried in their beers.
But at least it found the coveted key
And printed it out for all to see.

The trick was in ol’ Fate’s head;
Nothing like True Grit, but instead,
If you lift that enviable pile of hair
You’ll find absolutely nothing there!

The moral of this story’s clear
We hope it will not hurtcha
The guys with nothing in their head
Have ten pounds less inertia!


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